Operation Dating Game
by Chance2
Summary: Elizabeth is seeing somebody and John's determined to find out who it is.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own them. Never have, never will. -sigh-_

John Sheppard was one of the few people left in the commissary. Most of the residents of Atlantis had either gone to bed or had already started their graveyard shift. He sat with booted feet propped up on a table, nursing a weak cup of coffee. He absent-mindedly tapped his fingers against the metal mug, watching two people across the room.

One of the scientists appeared to be on a late-night date with a woman John recognized as one of Carson's Nurse Ratched wannabes. The two were sitting close together, their fingers entwined, talking quietly. It wasn't an unusual scene; John had noticed many people having similar private moments lately. With the Wraith no longer such an imminent and overwhelming threat (though, John noted wryly,nowhere nearas extinct as he would have liked them), moments of normality had begun seeping into the city. He knew that after five years of living in Atlantis, it would be hard to ever return to Earth and expect to have even a quasi-normal relationship with anyone who had not experienced the same things as him.

He knew he wasn't the only one who felt this way. Carson had been spending a lot of time lately with an Athosian woman, a close friend of Teyla's, and there were even rumors about Bates sneaking off with some blonde scientist.

John sighed. Then there was the complicated situation that was his and Teyla's relationship…

And Rodney, was, well…Rodney. John didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that they didn't have restraining orders in the Pegasus Galaxy.

That just left the clandestine Dr. Weir…if monetary value meant anything here, he'd stake a hefty chunk on the fact that she was seeing somebody. He'd done a small amount of snooping but had come up with nothing other than an even stronger feeling that she was hiding something and it was a doozy.

John was positive it had something to do with her personal life. It hadn't escaped his notice that she had stopped staying in her office till all hours of the night and almost never spent the night on her makeshift couch. Lately, too, there had been a few times when she had disappeared without telling anyone where she was going. It was never for long—half an hour here, an hour there—nothing to raise alarm, but suspicious nonetheless.

He hadn't told anyone his theories just yet, and he certainly hadn't confronted Elizabeth about it. He grinned to himself, picturing _that_ conversation: "So, Elizabeth, doing anyone new lately?"

_Technically_, it wasn't any of business, but, he reasoned, as that had never stopped him before, he certainly wasn't going to change his habits now.

He set his empty cup down on the table and cupped his hands behind his head. Finding out this sort of information was so much easier when he was younger and the girls his age kept diaries. He vaguely wondered if Elizabeth had ever kept a diary. The thought was somewhat laughable—he couldn't quite imagine her as anything but the confident, self-assured diplomat who could easily be your best friend or your worst enemy; a vision of her as an angsty, doubt-ridden teenager just didn't jive with that.

_Dear Diary: OMG, that Kavanagh is such a slimeball, and what is with that ponytail? Why are Teyla and Kate always whispering together when I walk by? I wonder if I'll get asked to the Athosian Harvest Celebration?_

John chuckled softly, imagining the tales of Atlantis angst that Elizabeth's diary might contain. Sadly, she didn't seem like the diary kind.

He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further, he was sure. This was going to be a challenge. Good thing there was nothing he loved so much as a challenge. He might need to recruit some help…but if it meant increasing his chances of finding out the truth, it was worth not being the only one who broke the news.

He grinned and shot up out of his chair, startling the lovebirds. He waved to them cheerfully and jogged away to his quarters. The sooner he got to sleep, the sooner it would be morning and he could begin Operation Dating Game.

Yeah, he'd have to work on the name.

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_A/N: To all of you who are fans of my other WIP, A New Arrival, I haven't given up on it, just mixing things up a bit. Hope you like this one as well! The next chapter will have many of our favorite characters on the hunt for the truth…Reviews are always welcome! Oh, and I mean no offense by the diary comments—these are John's opinions, not my own.:) _


	2. The game is afoot

_A/N_: _Yeah, so I'm not sneaky about which ships I prefer…still, bear with me! Thanks to all reviewers. Hey, just 2 days till we get to meet the new Atlantis character, Ronan Dex (at least for us Yankees). Can't wait! although I am positively counting the days until the notorious "Kissing Bandit" episode:) Anyways, on to the story…_

The next morning John was up early to scout a good location in the mess where he could watch the goings-on with relative ease and anonymity.

Slowly, people began to trickle in, first individuals, looking for their morning jolt of caffeine, then groups, interested as much in sustenance as in catching up on the latest news.

Several people greeted him but he didn't invite any to join him; he was too interested in getting the lay of the land first. John also found himself watching the men and trying to recollect which had significant others.

It was in the middle of this tally that Teyla sat down at his table.

"Colonel Sheppard," she greeted him with a nod.

It was a polite greeting, but John didn't miss the ice in it. It had slowly been revealed to him that if she used his title these days it meant that she was annoyed with him. She had been distantly proper for nearly a week now but he'd be damned if he knew why. That seemed to happen a lot...

Well, two could play that game.

He inclined his head slowly and said in a stately voice, "Miss Emmagen."

Teyla gave him a curiously bemused look in return.

Or maybe not…

Giving up the ruse, he sipped his coffee and asked, "Do you know if Dr. Morris is seeing anyone?"

"I believe so," she replied.

John stared at her expectantly until she got the hint and added, "I believe it is one of the nurses."

"My, those nurses do get around," he muttered. "Well, scratch that one from the list."

Teyla glanced up from her toast. "And which list would that be?"

"Oh, never mind," John said quickly.

Seeing Teyla's raised eyebrows, he said, just above a whisper, "Have you noticed anything different about Dr. Weir lately?"

"Different how?"

"I dunno, anything not in her normal scheme of things."

Teyla puzzled over it for a moment before replying, "I did notice that she was late to one of the briefings last week and she is normally never late."

"Good. And?"

The Athosian glanced about. "I have yet to see her this morning. Usually she is leaving the commissary as I arrive."

John pointed at her, grinning triumphantly. "See?"

"No. John, what is this all about?"

"You don't think her recent behavior is odd?"

"No more than yours."

"Funny. But no," here he lowered his voice again and leaned forward conspiratorially, causing her to do the same, "I think Elizabeth is seeing someone on the base and keeping it from us."

Teyla sat back. "Then should we not respect her wishes? If what you say is true then she must have her reasons."

"Oh, Teyla, Teyla, Teyla," John admonished, shaking his head sadly. "As the commanding military officer here in Atlantis, it is my duty to sniff out the truth." He paused, then said,"Okay, maybe not but for argument's sake, let's say it is."

"But Dr. Weir's personal life has nothing to do with the military."

"We don't know that," John replied, the very picture of innocence. "This could be a matter of not just national security, but _galactic_ security. The very fate of Atlantis could be at stake!"

Teyla gave him a look that he recognized all too well—the one that clearly said, _I'm not buying this for a minute_. "John, if you are so curious, why not just ask her?"

He grinned. "Where's the sport in that?"

Teyla still looked doubtful. "I don't want Dr. Weir to be angry with us over this."

He smiled. "And the truth shall set them free."

"Pardon?"

"A little truth is good for the soul. It'll probably be a relief not to hide it anymore."

"Whatever _it_ is."

"Exactly."

"Though you have no proof one way or another that there is an 'it'."

"Hey, you were the one that admitted that she's been acting strangely."

Teyla sighed long-suffering and John knew he had won. "I will help you, Colonel, but only to keep you out of trouble."

John leaned over the table and kissed her, ignoring the whistles and cheers from their fellow diners. As he broke the kiss he grinned cheekily, and said, "I'm off to see Beckett." With a jaunty wave, he left the commissary, leaving a very flustered Teyla in his wake.


	3. The Path of Boredom

"So let me get this straight," Carson said slowly. He glanced sideways at John before returning his gaze to the file he was taking notes in. "You want my help to pry--"

"Investigate."

"--pry into our commander-and-chief's personal life."

"Hey, the president she ain't."

"I'll tell her you said that," Carson promised with a sly smile.

"Can you all discuss this when I'm not dying?" Carson's patient complained.

Usually John would have been annoyed but today he was impressed. Although Rodney was slurring his words due to a large amount of painkillers, he still managed a sneer.

"Stop blubbering," Carson said, half-heartedly. "You'll live, God help us."

John admitted that he was relieved by Beckett's prognosis--Rodney wasn't looking so well. An hour ago, there had been a explosion in one of the labs--small, contained, but McKay had taken the brunt of it. He had been thrown into a table full of equipment. His face was a mess of cuts and bruises and his left wrist was broken in two places. Beckett had promised that the cuts looked worse than they were with only one gash on McKay's forehead requiring stitches. The wrist had to be set and put in a plaster cast, though, and was now resting not-so-comfortably. Consequently, Rodney was drugged six ways from Wednesday.

"He'll be here overnight," Carson told John quietly. "If there are no complications, he should be up and making trouble by tomorrow. He'll have a handsome scar on that forehead of his, tho'."

"Good to know," John said, striving for a sarcastic tone, but he was sincere in his concern for McKay's well-being, especially when the scientist looked like he had gotten the crap kicked out of him. As Beckett had pointed out when Rodney was brought in, it could have been much worse; it might not have been just his clothes that had gotten singed, and he had no internal injuries despite being thrown a good five feet. But that was not what had initially brought John to see Beckett. "Back to the subject at hand--"

"Don't mention hands," Rodney moaned before finally succumbing to the sedatives.

"Oh, thank God," Carson breathed, scrubbing a hand over his face before collapsing into the chair next to McKay's bed. He stretched out his legs, crossing them at the ankle. "A'right, Colonel, what mischief are ye about this time?"

"I'd be offended if it wasn't true," John grinned cheerfully. He decided to cut right to the chase and hope for the best. "I think Dr. Weir is hiding something and I want to know what it is."

"Since when did you become that nosy?" Carson asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Since we rid the galaxy of evil," John replied with a flourish. He found Carson watching him with an expression that was remarkably similar to Teyla's "stop bull-shitting me" look. "Okay, fine, since we got a whole lot better at hiding from evil. Besides, I finished my book."

"Then get a new one, lad," Carson said. "Believe me when I say it's a lot safer for everyone involved."

"So you're not going to help us?"

"I never said that; I just feel that, as your physician, it's my duty t' point out the health risks."

"Like if Weir drop kicks my ass through a wall, you mean."

"Something like that, yes."

John pretended to think about it before he grinned unrepentantly and rubbed his hands together. "Then she'd best not find out."

"Who'd best not find out about what?" asked a gut-dropping voice from the doorway.

John whirled around but Carson just peered over his shoulder at the doorway.

"Ah, Dr. Weir," he said. "Come to check on the patient?"

Elizabeth moved to stand at the foot of McKay's bed. "Yes. How is he?"

"Lucky. I'll keep him on pain medication as he needs it. He'll be using a sling for awhile and the cast'll be on for six weeks or so."

Elizabeth's expression was rueful. "Rodney will love that."

"Rodney won't have a choice," Beckett responded shortly. He looked over at McKay's sleeping form and sighed. "Have they figured out what happened yet?"

She shook her head. "I have Zelenka, Morris, and Asbury working on it now."

Carson pointed at Sheppard with uncharacteristic fierceness. "You and McKay pretend as though you have more lives than cats, but sooner or later that luck you seem to rely on is going to run out." He rubbed his eyes. "It would do my heart a world of good if you two would at least attempt to be more careful."

John sputtered a bit but couldn't really deny that he and McKay did end up in Beckett's care a lot.

"I hardly think the Rodney did this on purpose," Dr. Weir pointed out with raised eyebrows.

Carson smiled a little. "No, I'm sure not but that doesn't change the fact that Rodney occupies the infirmary beds more than either of us would like."

"Will he sleep for awhile yet?" Elizabeth asked. When Carson nodded, she said, "Then why don't Colonel Sheppard and I sit with him while you get some rest?"

Carson hesitated before nodding reluctantly and getting slowly to his feet. He nodded to Elizabeth as he left.

She moved to the chair he had just vacated and settled in.

John glanced at his watch before he said, "I have to meet Teyla for our sparring practice but I'll come back when I'm done." He smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "I might even bring you some coffee."

Elizabeth smiled behind steepled fingers. "My, aren't we the sweet talker."

John grinned and wiggled his fingers at her in a little wave as he left.

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A/N: Sorry I've been so long in updating anything. I'm currently working on a very long new fic. I hope to get the first chapter of that out soon. This episode didn't really go anywhere–just a bit of McKay-whumping and false leads (like you all don't know what my fave ships are–but you never do know :) but more will be revealed in the next chapter. Bear with me! 


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